The past few times that I’ve tried to request my prescription through my GP have been unnecessarily stressful. Due to the nature of my mental health my medication dosage changes every so often, which means that I’m unable to sort out a repeat prescription. I’m also only prescribed a certain amount each time, because – although I’m not suicidal – when things get too stressful I do struggle with suicidal thoughts, so as a precaution I’m only prescribed a certain amount (logical and ‘safe’).
Admittedly there are times, when I’m struggling to ‘do life’ and sorting out my prescription is the last thing on my mind – which is when I would really benefit from not having to wait three or four days for my GP to ‘sign’ my prescription. I’ve been fortunate with previous GP’s; in the past I’ve been able to attain emergency prescriptions, or I’ve been able to get my GP surgery to send over my prescription on the same day – which has been handy if I’ve ever lost my medication (or… left my medication in a different city), or if I’ve been simply struggling too much and have been unable to focus my attention on sorting things out.
This time round it was my GP surgery that ‘lost’ my prescription request – after my previous experience of being unable to take any medication for almost two weeks (thanks to a huge error in communication) I made sure that this time I’d request my prescription in advance of my medication running out. I was expecting my prescription to be ready for me at my local pharmacy – things have been very stressful and I’ve been struggling a fair bit lately, so admittedly I did leave things until last minute to collect my medication, however I was under the impression – that it would in fact be ready for me. So now I face another few days without any medication – last time I really really struggled, as the side effects weren’t exactly fun. I was also hesitant to start taking my medication again previously, as I’d managed to get through a week going ‘cold turkey’, and naturally I didn’t want to go back to ‘depending’ on my medication.
I must admit though, medication does help me, it helps make things a little less cloudy. What’s stressful, and a little is scary is how cloudy things have been recently, even while I’ve been taking my medication. If ever there was a time that I needed to feel like my GP was in control, it would be right now. But instead I’m feeling a little like I have to deal with things on my own – or that my GP doesn’t seem to ‘care’ enough – which is a very uneasy, and discomforting feeling.