Dear World…

Dear World,My current Facebook status:

Dear world,

I’m not a robot and when I say I don’t have the time, I can promise you I’m 100% not lying. Plus I cannot dish out endless pieces of work when I currently have a mid-life crisis scheduled.

Yours Truly, Ella.

P.S: Leave me ice cream and exit quietly via the nearest escape route…

Needless to say… I’m stressed. I’m in the process of adapting to new medication, receiving new treatment, and recovering from a pretty intense stage in my journey with PTSD. (Sounds dramatic…) The incredibly hard thing here for me is that I have always taken on opportunities that have been thrown my way, but for the past few weeks my life has been cram packed with GP appointments, doctor appointments, mental health sessions and so much more.

The thing is I’ve been incredibly organised, I’ve planned in time for myself, time to work etc. Yet people seem to have asked so much of  me these past few weeks. It’s tricky when you’re offered ace opportunities, but the simple fact is that I’m having to turn down some really cool offers for freelance work. (I’m okay with this – I understand the importance of looking after myself.) But the thing is I’ve been saying no, yet some people have continued to ask me to complete work, even to the point of where they’ve sat down next to me and simply ignored my rejection.
These past few weeks have been an incredible test of character for myself, and I have been very thankful for the support from my team, both staff and support services. Yet I seem to be having to deal with the after effects of ‘putting on a brave face,’ which I think is simply not fair.
However, it’s not in my nature to shout at these people, nor is it in my nature to cry at them and let them in on all my personal struggles – they are work colleagues, and in some cases students who are studying a level above me – who should respect me when I say no.
It’s a strange thing when you’ve helped people in the past and they automatically assume you will help them again; I of course would help these people again, but at the moment I’m trying to catch up with work I’ve missed due to being ill, and I don’t know any other ways to politely say no…
Maybe I should send them this blog post…

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