My week didn’t get off to a particularly great start after somebody decided to drive into the side of my car, without even stopping to say sorry. My poor Ronald (car) had to be taken to the garage, where I had to pay to have him fixed… which was incredibly frustrating as it wasn’t expected. That teamed with the thought that I hadn’t done anything wrong playing on repeat in my mind meant I was pretty grumpy. (But that internal kind of grump, where you go on pretending you’re having a whale of a time). I guess I couldn’t really help this, but at the same time it was still pretty annoying. Needless to say I was pretty frustrated for the rest of the day. However, the guys at the garage decided not to charge me the full amount for the repairs as they knew that it wasn’t my fault and must’ve felt sorry for me (pros and cons I guess, but nice chaps).
Then this morning I broke my favourite bracelet, as I tried to put it on it decided it’d had enough and little pieces of silver went flying around my room. (I’ll be finding the pieces for months). After reciting my entire repertoire of cusses I then tried to salvage all the pieces and plod my way into work. Things are a little stressful at the moment as there’s a fair few big changes taking place in my personal life, as well as work. That being said everyone is being wonderful, so ten points to them.
My aunt messaged me this morning and invited me over to Australia, which instead of cheering me up led to me crying ever-so-dramatically. Of course I’m excited to go out and visit my family, yet it was oddly overwhelming to know that people on the other side of the world are thinking of me, especially when I’m finding things so stressful. My parents are moving to Spain in a few weeks, which my brain decided to remind me about this morning. So before I’d even managed to make it to the kettle and wake myself up enough to make coffee I was crying about how a large part of my family is scattered across the world, and no-ones in Birmingham with me, making me coffee when I’m too tired, and feeling sorry for myself.
I’m aware that I’m over-exciting things and making them more dramatic than they are, however I’m feeling pretty knackered at the moment and I can’t really help it. I feel slightly raw and over-exposed at the moment, so when the slightest of things happens it seemingly cuts deep. I’m not usually a big crier, and I think this past week I cried more tears than I did in my entirety of 2016.
I’m also aware that this blog post doesn’t really have a point (welcome to my life), but for me it’s definitely working as a place to offload all my drama. I’ve been finding things a little tricky this week in part to yet another muddle up with my medication. I’ve been unable to get my usual prescription for some reason, and I’ve had no luck in terms of getting hold of my doctor. Despite this, and despite all my non-dramatic drama I’m actually feeling okay. (Not sure if this is superficial all not). However, the ups and downs of everyday life are seemingly quite big feats at the moment.
I’m also now in that headspace where I’m thinking “do I need to have medication? What’s it really doing?” etc. I’m a little frazzled, a little frustrated and a little fearful of suddenly crashing. But one thing that’s particularly bugging me is how easy it is to stop taking medication and how bloody difficult it is apparently to get hold of your GP to try and resolve this. Another thing though is that I’m slightly apprehensive to contact my GP for fear of being ‘told off’ due to my lack of taking my medication. I will of course try to get it sorted, but I need a coffee and a bloody long nap first.
It was when I was sat on my sofa eating potato salad directly from it’s container that I’d realised I’d turned into a 23 year old Bridget Jones.