Amidst the endless hours of sleep, not being able to find any motivation, (hello there hibernation mode) and the exhausting battle with food, I found this little fella…

And he made me a happy little human (even if it was only momentary).

This image (alongside a few others) cheered me up SO much. I was scrolling through Pinterest, which is one of my favourite ‘coping strategies’ when things get real rough – I can discover little gems that give me motivation, or remind me that the world has some pretty ace stuff… but I wasn’t expecting to stumble across this fish. I really laughed (a lot), it was just so unexpected, so cute, so quirky and I love it.

For the past week or so I really have been struggling to get out of my bed (to those who haven’t experienced this then you probably think I’m just being lazy – I 100% am not.) Let me tell ya, it’s boring, soul-destroying and not fun at all to be in bed all day… Especially when mental health sectioning has been pretty dominant in the news today – that terrifies me, and it makes me very aware of how much I need to get out of bed. But why oh why can’t I get out of bed?!

I cannot fathom how I still need sleep – I spent all day yesterday in bed, and again today. Last week I struggled with this a lot, and whenever I ventured out it was just too much, and I was left exhausted… if I think a little harder then I guess it’s the ‘comfort’ and ‘security’ of my flat, mixed with not having to think whilst I’m asleep. But the nightmares, strange dreams and the feeling of ‘wasting life’ when I wake don’t seem worth it. Also, I need to be out doing things.

Goldfish have been a theme in my life this past week… I have no idea why, trust me – it sounds a little strange to me as well. But did you read the recent article about the goldfish that had its 38th birthday? 38 – that’s just incredible. That cheered me up loads last week, and this week this little goldfish has cheered me up…

Stealing a line from Nemo here, but maybe this is the universe’s way of telling me to ‘just keep swimming.’ 

(SO so cheesy haha).

This may be one of the lamest, strangest blog posts I’ve written… but hey, if that little goldfish has motivated me to actually do something productive, to actually get up and write stuff… then I ain’t gonna miss the opportunity to try and feel better!

Also… if that goldfish is cool enough to be a shark, then I am cool enough to publish this post.