I’ve been so busy, so tired, incredibly overwhelmed and ‘running on adrenaline.’ The past week has been long, challenging but a lot of fun. I’ve had a lot of fun at work, dealing with events and some tasks that I’ve been looking forward to for awhile! However, I also think I’ve been experiencing ‘mania.’ Now I don’t know if I have, but the word has popped up in conversation during my psychology appointment, and to be fair it’s the only way I could possibly explain how I’ve been acting and feeling this past week.
I’ve been struggling to blog because I’ve had so much going on in my mind. My thoughts have been racing, and everything has been pretty hectic. I haven’t been sleeping and everything else has seemed 100% more intense. I’m really not too sure how to explain things.
According to Mind, ‘hypomania and mania are terms used to describe periods of overactive and excited behaviour that have a serious impact on your day-to-day life.’ With symptoms including:
- feelings of extreme and intense happiness – feeling excessively ‘high’
- increased irritability and aggression
- increased confidence and self-esteem
- a reduced need for sleep
- increased talkativeness and talking very fast
- feeling full of ideas and racing thoughts
- having a lot of energy
- an exaggerated sense of your own importance
- restlessness and difficulty relaxing
- a lack of concentration and being easily distracted
- increased social activity
- risky behaviour, such as going on a spending spree
- increased sexual desire and decreased inhibitions
- poor judgement
- heightened senses – sight, smell or other senses being sharper than usual.
I don’t understand mania, I mean, I can relate to the symptoms described when referring to manic episodes of those diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, but I’ve never been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. However, I can 100% understand and relate to the symptoms outlined by Mind when referring to manic episodes:
I can relate to so many of the above symptoms, especially the ‘uncontrollably excited’ and not being able to get my words out fast enough. When I’m going through a period of mania (it may not be mania, but it does feel like it) my mind is unstoppable, I seem to take on so many tasks, and I seem to work incredibly fast to get them done (even if I’m exhausted). I’ll notice that I’ll be practically running everywhere, I feel like I’m always in a rush, I can’t slow down – physically or mentally. I don’t eat, or I eat too much, and I seem to lose control of my ability to think before I speak, or act – and I get incredibly annoyed and ashamed of myself. And that’s exactly how I’ve been acting the past week. (I’ve been like this before, but honestly this past week has been so different to anything I’ve ever experienced before).
I don’t know if I have manic episodes or not, and the trouble is I struggle to articulate things when I meet with healthcare professionals, so I tend to make things a lot more tricky for myself.