I’m going through one of them phases where everything is frustrating me or stressing me out. Everything keeps going wrong – but I’m sure it’s just because I’m aware of one rubbish thing and everything else just seems to hit that little bit harder. I don’t usually find myself getting angry, I’m quite good at weighing out situations and knowing when to give the energy to feel annoyed or stressed, but at the moment small things keep piling up and attempting to tip the iceberg.
Putting things into perspective: it’s currently chucking it down outside, I didn’t drive into work today, due to the weather and the rubbish non-waterproof shoes I’ve worn the walk to the bus stop is a little too far for my brain to handle. I know that walking to the bus stop will completely annoy me – something which normally is fine, but thanks to this frustrating let’s get annoyed at everything mood I decided to make things a little easier for myself by getting a taxi. (Taxi’s stress me out anyway, but weighing up the positives over the negatives it means I don’t have to walk twenty minutes in the dark, miserable, the world is ending rain just to get on a packed bus.) Waiting outside trying to book a taxi my phone dies (even though it has 50% battery – thanks poorly made batteries). I then get annoyed at myself because I have to walk back inside to my office just to recharge my phone (at least I won’t get rained on I guess).
I know it’s perfectly normal to get frustrated at little things, but it’s an almost painful kind of frustration, where my brain tends to take the perspective of everything’s out to get you, you suck. Now all I want to do is get home and hibernate, I don’t want to participate in life, I want to hide from the world just because my phone sucks. Oh the drama.
I can imagine there’s probably a deeper rooted reason behind all this frustration, but really I can’t be bothered to figure out what it is at the moment. I just want things to be a little easier. (I realise that really all it is is the weather and my crappy phone, but let me be dramatic here).
More often lately I’ve noticed myself getting frustrated when frustration isn’t needed, and I’m not a fan. Naturally I’m quite laid-back, and if it’s not related to my health I’m usually very good at quickly analysing whether or not I need to get stressed about something. So now I find myself getting frustrated at getting frustrated – if you could see how fast I’m typing right now I can imagine it’d be quite comical.
But it’s pancake day, I’m gunna charge me phone, get a taxi, scurry on home, track down my pyjamas and immerse myself in a pile of pancakes. Screw you odd mood.