Dearest Someone, I’m sorry if you don’t understand.

Dearest Someone,

I have amazing friends, but what I’ve noticed lately is that I certainly have friends that ‘get it’ and friends who just don’t. (By ‘get it’ I mean understand – or know how what I’m dealing with and how to treat me.) It seems I’ve been holding onto the idea that some friends will be able to support me, but the truth is sometimes people just don’t understand. It’s not their fault, but I cannot spare the energy of chasing them, or trying to make them understand – especially when it means I’m forgetting about the friends who truly ‘get it.’


What’s so frustrating is when people who know what you’re dealing with moan about small daily things – when those things to me appear as huge huge battles, I’d play the ‘ignorance’ card when you know those people have no idea what you’re going through.

But when those people are those who know everything about your journey, but still complain about doing simple daily tasks, or really just don’t ‘get it’ then maybe it’s better for you to stop relying on them as a form of support – I know people all fight their own battles, but it’s so difficult to surround yourself with people who continuously make you feel like you are really crap at life (even if it’s unintentional.) I feel like I have friends who understand my situation – without me even having to tell them, and others who after months of knowing about my situation still don’t ‘get it.’

It’s all good saying that you do, but have you ever shown it? I don’t wanted to be treated like a child, I don’t want to be treated like I’m incapable of life, but compassion isn’t a difficult thing. The support I receive in terms of being able to complete certain things aren’t there for me to be lazy, they are there because I need. So please stop being so bloody ignorant. I am still going through hell, and you certainly ain’t helping.

Mental health problems don’t just stop once you’ve completed a task or reached a milestone – yes they can start to simmer down, but trust me I am still struggling. I know it’s a big task to ask you to show compassion, but I support you even when I’m struggling like crazy – please please try to return the favour, or simply stop saying that you will.

I know this is a ‘rant’ but I’m struggling – especially when I know my friend has such a huge heart, and is an incredible person, but I simply cannot ignore this anymore, because it really does bother me. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt it’s that you can’t always brush things off.

This image made me smile:

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4 comments

  1. I love this cartoon– it was shared with me when I was at the height of my anxiety/depression issues, & I then shared it with my friends who deal with mental health issues.

    It hurts when the people who are supposed to love you just don’t get it! I had my best friend since childhood, who herself has mental & physical health issues, cut me off out of the blue one day. She, of all my friends, is the one who is supposed to get me the most! I feel your frustration!

    XOXO
    Jess 💋

    Like

    • It’s tricky isn’t it – when you can sort of understand why they are cutting you off or why they are struggling to understand – but i definitely think it’s okay to feel confused and a little lonely when this happens haha! I feel like I’m going through a really weird breakup hahaha 🙂 x

      Like

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