Dearest Someone, blahhhhhhhhhhajhosdhfouhsadf = current mood.

I’m ridiculously stressed, I’m ridiculously anxious and I’m ridiculously fed up and wanting to just moan at life ha. And I’m currently accepting hugs and cats from all who offer. Me right now:

cat-tired-exhausted-fatigued-work-career-stress-rug

I think I may have mentioned in my last blog post that I’m feeling very run-down at the moment! Yet at the same time I am pretty content with life – it’s a confusing old mess haha! I think the term is ‘anxious’ yay my good old friend anxiety has dropped by again! (Sarcasm.)

So, I’ve been on medication since February/March 2014, and in the last few weeks I decided it was time to cut down on the strength of my tablets (something which I’ve wanted to do for a long time) – I’ve been feeling great lately, and I know that I have overcome / learnt how to deal with things, which is ace. The main reason I was put on medication was for anxiety, I began getting real bad panic attacks, and anxiety attacks in late 2013, and realised that anxiety had run-this-town (me) for a long time. Then I was diagnosed with PTSD, for three different traumatic things that have happened (blah, blah, blah) and the medication really did help, in fact in the last month I’ve pretty much been anxiety free – so yeah, long story short I lowered the dosage of my medication (SSRI) and I reached the end of my counselling sessions on the same day, and in retrospect, that was probably an very badly timed combination!

Today I’ve been feeling very anxious, my head is pretty cloudy (if that makes sense) and everything seems very confusing to me! Dramatic I know – but it’s the only way I can describe how I’m feeling. I did expect side effects – to not get side effects would most likely be a miracle, but it’s very frustrating feeling anxious again, especially as over the last month I’ve been feeling so much that I have no idea what I’m feeling. I spent the past weekend in bed – sleeping, eating and feeling pretty low for no reason, but I’m gearing myself up for a battle. Another battle. I really do not want to increase my dosage again – if anything I’m aiming to eventually get off medication –  but it’s all come storming back and ahhhhhhhhhhh.

(This was a whole bunch of words, but I think I needed to blog/rant haha).

P.S: Anxiety is a b*tch.

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