I’ve not written much lately; for the past few weeks has been dominated by work – it has been pretty intense in terms of stressful, but so much fun, and definitely worth it. As a result of all the workload I haven’t really had the energy to focus on my mental health. I’ve been so exhausted that all I’ve wanted to do is sleep, instead of paying attention to what’s going on in my mind. Focusing on emotions and dealing with low mood, lethargy and the constant wildness of my thoughts can be pretty draining, so in my continual tiredness I wasn’t really able to give much thought or attention to my well-being. (Despite sleep… I was able to give plenty of attention to sleeping). (Also… thank-you world for coffee).
Amidst the blur of work I was unable to get to my GP to get my medication sorted, which left me without medication for a few days, but thankfully it wasn’t long enough for it to have any drastic effect on my mood. The NHS out of hours team were wonderful in helping me get my medication sorted, so ten points to them.
In general I’m doing really good, which is ace. There are a few odd moments, but I’m still driven to keep moving forward in my recovery, which keeps me motivated (myself being motivated keeps me motivated… ha). As it was a long time in which I didn’t feel as though I could move forward now that a part of me genuinely believes that I can keep moving forward I find that incredibly motivating. Something within me wants to keep going, and though at times it doesn’t feel that way there’s definitely a part of me that’s fighting and keeping me strong at the moment.
In retrospect it has been an incredibly intense, overwhelming, exhausting, difficult but also positive few months for me. From family weddings, holidays, hospital, work, birthdays, anniversaries, events and more. And at this moment in time I think I’m slowly beginning to process my thoughts and reflect on what’s been happening. I think I’ve been so busy recently that I’ve just been getting on with thinks rather than taking time to pause. For me, I think writing this blog is helping me pause and reflect. I’m taking it easy tonight; admittedly I am worried that now I’ve stopped being busy I’ll start struggling, but I’ll tackle that when (if) that happens.