Loved ones, natural disasters and understanding trauma.

I’ve had an ace evening – my Dada was passing through so he took me out shopping (I needed to buy a fancy dress) and then for food. Man I have missed him! He fills my heart with so much warmth I love him haha!

After a rough weekend it’s been lovely to just forget about things and feel safe. I had some important meetings this morning in regard to project work – despite having a few anxious moments I kicked butt so yay to that!

It’s tricky trying to make sense of what is going on in terms of my mental health at the moment – I’m a generally confident, outgoing person however in the last year anxiety and panic attacks got me bad. Though medication calmed this all down lately I’ve been suffering again – however I think it’s understandable as issues have been brought to the surface recently.

(Plot twist) last night I decided to watch ‘The Impossible’ – the incredibly devastating film (true story) about the 2004 tsunami. I can remember the actual tsunami pretty well as it was just a few months after a pretty traumatic event (for me) and I’ve always avoided watching the film. Though the curiosity has always been there, so last night I forced myself to watch it. And I’m weirdly glad I did – having gone through a smaller, yet terrifying natural disaster the film hit me hard, but it also reminded me that it’s okay to feel the way I do. Also I’m incredibly blessed to have survived, and my heart goes out to all those affected by the recent earthquake. The power of nature is unquestionably terrifying, brutal and very dangerous.

Natural disasters are devastating, horrendous and pretty much unavoidable and I think it’s okay for me to accept that they will always make me feel a mixture of emotions. Watching news coverage, documentaries and even films concerning natural disasters trigger many emotions for me. And I have such respect to those involved in the relief and recovery of disasters such as tsunamis, earthquakes and floods. This world is brutal – and to go full circle here, I am so bloody glad I got to see my dad today!

My thoughts go out to all those affected by the recent Nepal earthquake, it’s a devastating event and I wish safety and recovery to all survivors. Such events are life-changing and terrifying and the trauma and pain the survivors must be experiencing is truly heartbreaking. Bless them all, and I wish them safety and the ability to make sense of what has happened.

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