I’ve been very quiet, yes, yes I have been… and it’s been quite nice!

(Most likely for you as well as for me haha…)

As I’m writing this (such a cliche way to start a sentence) I’m sitting in the library at my ‘happy place.’ We’re often told to go to a happy place or to picture a happy place when we’re stressed, upset or panicking… for me I picture a very specific place. A place that has, throughout my life brought joy and happiness, as well as sadness, fear, pain and pretty much all the other feelings that you can feel… Sometimes I’m hesitant to pick this place as my happy place as I am very aware of all the different emotions I’ve felt here, but it goes without saying that this place is without a doubt my favourite place in the world, my  favourite place  in the entire universe.

I’m camping in Cornwall at the moment – something I’ve done every summer since day one. I’ve always spent the rainy English summers here in Cornwall (where it actually does get pretty hot). When Cornwall is sunny (and when it’s stormy) it is glorious. The views, the fresh air, the ocean, the adventures… everything warms my heart. I have a multitude of places across Cornwall which mean so much to me. They’re the kind of places that I only have to think about and my soul in someway seems ‘cleansed’ (cheesy).

This county is the one place that can both make me feel euphoric, elated, happy and tense, stressed, scared, anxious and just downright annoyed. I hate how much this place has a hold over me… yet at the same time I love this place.

I’ve been reading a lot lately about ‘feeling’ – I know that sounds pretty strange, but I’ve been left feeling pretty overwhelmed in recent weeks due to some new sense of ‘feeling.’ I feel like every emotion I come across I am experiencing for the first time – and that’s a very strange thing to experience. I’m sure you may have some experience of feeling overwhelmed or astonished by your emotions… even the feelings of happiness leaves me feeling a little anxious or afraid. I don’t know what it is and I have no idea why this is a ‘thing’ for me at the moment… feelings and emotions seem to be a BIG thing for me, and I’m learning to allow myself to actually feel these emotions.

I guess this post has swayed toward this sort of topic as I feel a lot when I’m in Cornwall. I have such a rich past here, both sad and happy, and I’m constantly being reminded of events and memories. I’m currently reading Dear Stranger (a book created collectively by the charity Mind and various other mental health advocates) and it’s an often contested topic within the different letters about what it’s like to actually feel. I think it’s something I’ve not paid attention to much and recently I’ve somehow forced this topic to the forefront of my thinking (fortunately reading Dear Stranger has happily coincided with this and it’s acting as some sort of guide… it’s very strange, but very cool!)

So… basically the gist of this post is just to announce that I am feeling emotions. (Wahey). And also, more importantly to quickly mention that I am on holiday and surprisingly it’s tricky to find wifi when you’re in a tent in a damp field.

I’ve struggled to find a photo to head-up this blog post… so here’s a photo of me feet in a field…