Dealing with stress alongside anniversaries of traumatic events

I’m not too sure how I feel, or how this blog post will end up, but there’s an intense need to write things – things that are filling up my mind. Yet (and bare with me here) I have no idea what these things are.

A few weeks back I decided that I’d take some time away from dealing with things, I don’t mean that I’ve ignored everything and pushed my feelings to the backburner (if only that was actually possible!) I just mean that I decided to try and pay attention to how I’m actually feeling, and whether or not I can deal with things independently. Even though I’ve got a fantastic support system (both in University, in the NHS and further afield) at the end of the day I have been the only one who has to deal with what I’m dealing with. I’m not trying to sound ungrateful or egotistic here, what I mean is that although I try my hardest to articulate what I’m going through I am the only person who is actually dealing with my individual battle. We all have our own personal battles, and I think it’s actually very difficult to portray exactly what you’re going through, in fact I reckon it’s impossible. So basically, my train of thought here is that I am in fact dealing with things independently already but it’s the people in my life who help me and even at times work tirelessly to try and make my battle smoother and less painful.

I seek support from an amazing team, yet a few years ago the thought of even reaching out to someone made me feel sick, so I cannot thank the wonderful people in my support system enough. They are unable to change what I am feeling, or they are unable to stop what I am going through, but they are there to listen. And they’ve been there to listen an awful lot.

I don’t know if what I’m about to say resonates with any of you but I have a select team of professionals who, when I’m stressed or in need of support I contact first. Recently I think it’s been playing on my mind the stress of potentially not being able to contact these individuals, currently I’m faced with the possibility of moving cities and changing a lot of things around, and I’m very aware of how this will affect my support system. 

So, I took the chance to ‘deal with things alone’ whilst I went away to Cornwall and Essex for a few weeks. I had a lovely break, it was actually really really nice, and it was a much needed rest, I had plenty of time to do nothing and just focus on myself (something which I hardly ever do). But I’m back to work now, which is fine, I’ve managed to ease myself back in slowly but I really am stressing about trying to make a decision about my future. (I think it’s fairly normal to be this stressed!) However, it is also the anniversary of Boscastle Flood this Sunday, and then the anniversary of another traumatic event the week after, so everything is maybe possibly slightly a little too much for me at the moment.

I just have a lot to think about, and a lot of  words in my mind that I needed to write down, so ten points to you if you read this far! 🙂

Boscastle Flood (Dearest Someone,)

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8 comments

  1. ten points for me!! 🙂 Everything always works out in the end. You can do this. One day at a time. Thank you for sharing. Have a great day.

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  2. Every I dread the anniversary of a traumatic event. I know that it’s coming but it completely overwhelms me and I always end up having a panic attack. I understand that you don’t have answers and that these are things you are going through yourself, but do you have any “tips” (terrible phrasing I know) with dealing with this? xx

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    • I think for me personally although this year I tried to deal with things differently I found it very useful to plan something in the morning of the day (so that way i’d have something to get out of bed for but it wasn’t a whole day commitment!)

      I also tried my hardest to notice what has changed for the better
      since the flood – I also told myself that it was perfectly acceptable and okay for me to feel things on the anniversary. In a strange way I feel less guilty for feeling things on the actual anniversary because it makes sense to find it tricky! So I took advantage of that and prepared myself a few days before and I promised myself that I’d actually pay attention to what I’m feeling and face up to how the event has left me… if that makes sense!

      But I must admit it’s a weird week because I have another trauma anniversary this coming Tuesday (which is also my birthday). Sorry for the very long reply haha!

      I also made sure I had professional help available… aka I had a psychologist appointment planned for today and a few days before I had a chat with my well-being advisor at uni 🙂 if you can find someone who will give you an hour of their time for you to talk things through then it really works wonders! Even if you talk to a friend, just make sure you feel comfortable xxx

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      • My anniversary is the week of my Birthday too, which often means it’s a day of forced laughter. It’s difficult and each year it’s different, sometimes I wallow in it and sometimes ignore it as best as possible. Can’t win really. If I find myself upset then I feel like I shouldn’t because it was X amount of years ago, but if i’m not then I feel guilty for not being upset. Haha. It’s not for a while yet and i’ll take your advice into consideration. Your blogs are mega helpful. xxx

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      • I know exactly what you mean though about feeling guilty etc. Plus to be honest it’s natural to feel differently each time you think about something… maybe you should consider thinking about the negative and positives of how you’ve dealt with the event (if it’s not too painful!) I’ve found that rather than focusing on the event and instead focusing on yourself and how you feel about the event works wonders! And thank you for reading my blogs! You’re ace haha xx

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