When times are tough, when times are dark, and when times aren’t at all fun I guess we draw upon the things that we hold closest to our heart in order to find something to hold onto. Photos of my family, photos of my friends, and knowing I have an amazing support system of incredible, fantastic people all give me something to grip onto tightly. They are my safety net, they are what I clasp when things are too tough, when I’m slipping away slowly and the depth and darkness of PTSD have got the better of me.
Because, at the end of the day I’m slowly starting to realise and accept that I have achieved incredible, surreal things. From speaking at the Houses of Parliament to holding on when things have reached there spikiest, toughest, most brutal, horrifiying (almost the end) moments. I am made of tough stuff, we all are.
Tonight I discovered new ways to cope, and I even reached out to friends when things really did feel too much… I know I have an incredible support network, but the feelings, dread and the shamefulness of being a burden are always too overpowering when I’m in my darkest moments. This may well be one of the most honest posts I’ve written as tonight hasn’t been all too fun… but I phoned up a friend, and that friend gave me something to hold onto, and I have never been more grateful in my life.
In the wake of phoning up my friend… my (slightly knackered) self decided to turn to the things that release my inner child… and that for me is good old Hazza P.
Harry Potter, ya’ve been there through the dark times, the good times and the boring times. I cried when the last film was released (15 July 2011 was the premiere…) as I’ve grown up with these films. I’ve wanted to be Hermione, I’ve wanted to be Ron, I’ve wanted to be Harry, I’ve wanted to be Dumbledore (the sassy guy) and I have of course wanted to be the Weasley twins. I’ve also rooted for Snape and Voldy pretty much since day one!
SO… when times get tough (aka: tonight) I turned to the good old website that is Pinterest. Where there’s a myriad of images… endless Harry Potter photos, it’s like an ‘eat your heart out’ world, where it becomes all encompassing and you can find as many cool photos as ya want….
So, in the brink of my ‘darkness’ here’s some of the photos I collected to express how I’m feeling (Hazza P style):