Making changes for the better

“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.”

Leave

Sometimes, as awful as it sounds, sometimes people really annoy me. I’m not one to use the word ‘hate’, and even though crappy stuff has happened to me in the past I’m yet to hate someone or something. (Apart from prawns… I just really don’t like eating prawns.) I do of course get annoyed by certain situations – especially when some people disregard every social norm and decide to ‘make a scene’ – either at me or others.

Fortunately I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve felt as though someone has treated me in a malicious way in order to humiliate me. very rarely do I deal with people confronting me, I’m lucky as I don’t like to/choose not to confront others (basically I don’t treat people badly) so they don’t treat me badly. However, there are times where I’m left questioning why I contribute a lot of energy and effort into trying to maintain friendships or relationships where I am being treated in a way that does at times upset me. However, that’s when I have to decipher whether that’s a matter of personal opinion or if the person treating me badly is in fact a loser (loser is a friendlier synonym for what I actually want to write…)

When a situation has been dealt with wrong, whether I’ve made an error or someone else has I like to chat with the individual rather than shout about things. When I was younger I loved shouting, I often cringe at some of the arguments I had with friends, and boyfriends back when I was a teenager, but… that’s all a part of growing up. Making mistakes and all that jazz. However, nowadays I wouldn’t even think to shout at someone, and I reckon I’d only shout at someone if they were really really reaaaaaally disrespecting me, or if I felt in danger.

Yeah I like to think sassy things in my head but I wouldn’t ever purposely try to hurt someone. Which is why, if someone does such a thing to me it really hits me hard. This blog has been triggered by a specific situation, however out of complete respect and love to the person who annoyed me I’m not going to go into detail. But I just wanted to remind myself and you lovely readers that sometimes you don’t have to sit there and do your best sponge impression. You don’t have to suck everything up, you are entitled to have your own opinions, feelings and thoughts – and if someone is 100% acting impulsively and is offending you or humiliating you then you have every right to walk away.

Something happened at the weekend where I was left crying what felt like an ocean’s worth of tears, where I felt pretty taken aback, and I annoyingly blamed myself for. It wasn’t until my eyes had finally decided they didn’t want to turn into a waterfall that I was able to reflect on the situation and come to the conclusion that I 100% didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes it’s very easy to expect that your friends will always do the right thing, which is why – when things do go wrong it is so easy to blame yourself.

I’m very good at taking things in and accepting that they couldn’t have gone any differently. I’m very good at people pleasing and just letting things go, which is great, but it also sometimes means that people treat me in ways that I’m not happy with and I let them. I don’t necessarily let them ‘walk all over me’ I just choose not to confront them – it’s more of a comfort thing I think, which does at times leave me feeling pretty crap. I’m not abruptly deciding to start telling people to ‘shut up’ when they do something that I deem inappropriate, I’ve just decided that and acknowledge that it’s perfectly okay for me to tell them I’m not happy, or that I want things to be done differently.

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